Here's a dilemma I am trying to resolve.
I believe in self-improvement. I believe that people can change. And grow. And learn.
I also believe that people are what they are. And that part of being a good friend, or lover, or partner, or parent, is accepting the other person for who they are.
Music once told me that she didn't understand who I was, really. She said that, I think, because I am always trying to learn.
Lots of the self-improvement stuff out there, including pickup stuff, contends that you can change your fashion, your body language, the way you dress, speak, your job, your social circle, all to get what you want. Shit, you can even change what you want, reprogram yourself. And I think that's true.
Except that I don't. The saying goes that attraction is not a choice. So how much can I change, how much should I accept I'm stuck with?