Saturday, August 29, 2009

Set aside the pride for a day

Last night I wrote a message from a place of loneliness. An hour after I wrote it I was surrounded by friends and by love. I had a little party at my place, 5 boys and 2 girls, drinking tea until 2am, talking about family dysfunctionalities, leavened with a little gossip. We adjourned at 2am and met again at 11am for breakfast. Our waitress was gorgeous (I failed to retrieve a phone number).

My friend Guitar has me watching Keys to the VIP on the Comedy Network (I think the link will only work in Canada). Everyone involved is a little younger than me but there's lots to learn. He is egging me on to pick ups as we are walking around, or on the subway... I am feeling a little "social robot" about it. Like this morning. I was with four good friends, one of whom is a stunning beauty, but I dissipated a lot of energy trying to figure out how to get the waitress's number. Maybe if I do it more it'll be second nature and I will be able to be in the moment and also "pull" when the opportunity arises. But I am not sure I want to live life as a constant series of opportunities to pick up, or to practice picking up.

Still, I think I have a ways to go on this journey before I can either assimilate it and make it a part of me or discard it. Some plans for the next step are in the works... and I'll report on it here.

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